Teach Sanskrit to a group of deaf children.
Hammer railroad spikes into my shins.
Become romantically involved with a deceased squirrel.
Set my teeth on fire.
Listen to Tom Selleck lament himself about the bad choices he's made in his life.
Arm wrestle with an angry lion.
Take credit for the Carter administration.
Eat my own feet live on Pakistani TV.
Become intimately acquainted with large amounts of unrendered animal fat.
Enjoy the long-term effects of radiation poisoning.
Force an elephant to rape me.