Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Business as Usual

These are some names and ideas for businesses that I plan to open one day. The fact that I have never been outside before has no bearing on my abilities to run a business. You naysayers can keep your opinions to yourselves, especially if these are in reference to my inability to open doors (or close them).

Ted's Coin Laundry and Community College

I Wouldn't Eat That If I Were You - 24 Hour Diner

Dr. Steven's Office of Psychiatry and Shoe Repairs

Peter's School for Professional Clowns and Bulimic Pilots

Jackson's Pizzeria and Cancer Removal

Racism for Everyone (No Nicaraguans Allowed)

Dr. Hammerstein's Dentist's Office for Disgruntled Lesbians

Jenny's Daycare and Radioactive Refuse Storage

Lee's Chinese Restaurant and Petting Zoo

The Lower East Side Museum of Famous Corpse Fuckers (Now located in the Upper West Side)